May I just say, Joel's message this weekend was awesome, and if you didn't get a chance to attend, take an hour of your day (while you work out?) and have a listen.
http://www.willamettechurch.com/media/listen-to-services/
It got me thinking a lot about what stops me from being a loving person. On Friday, I had construction workers in my home. Suffice it to say, I was less than loving. In retrospect, I think what stops me from acting in a loving way towards others is focusing on my own needs. I needed to feel like I had a place where I could study, eat, and sleep that wasn't invaded by strangers. I didn't have that, and I developed a less-than-loving attitude because of it.
It goes so much farther than that as well. Sure, we can be distracted to think of ourselves when our time is wasted, or we are not treated 'fairly', but I think the heart of love and relationships is even deeper. I think our own need to be loved and accepted can sometimes stop us from pursuing relationships that reach a meaningful level. If you are afraid to be rejected or judged, it can sometimes paralyze you in an attempt to begin (or restore) a relationship.
That is why loving your neighbor as yourself is the second command. Though equally important, we must first understand God's love for us. When we are confident and at peace in God's love for us, we are able to set aside our own needs (which we no longer need to fight for - we know that God fights for us) and focus on the needs of the person in front of us. Even better, when we are truly content that God's love is enough, the happiness and peace it brings helps us to love others naturally.
There is a second reason that recognizing our own needs is important, and I think it gets overlooked a lot. Christ came down in human form not to have His own needs met, but to show that He understands ours, and He is our model. Within each of us lies a heart that longs to be loved and understood by others. Instead of focusing on fulfilling our own needs (as Joel put it, having a 'happy life') we can recognize that they are indicators of what is going on in the hearts of everyone around us. The parable of your own heart's desires is really an illustration of the wants and needs of hearts around the world.
I thought it was great, too. And lately God is teaching me that what I think I need might just be untrue. I never thought I could live in a studio, and yet we do. I thought I needed my schedules and routines, and yet I survive somehow without them. And in all this unbearable selfishness, I don't know how we keep from crying with gratitude that God would associate with us at all. There's a phrase that the Spirit brings to mind when I am tempted to be unloving: "You're no better, beloved." Joel mentioned it, too: it's pride that keeps us from true love for others.
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